Still haven't had a drink today
The art of effective drinking is knowing how long you need to keep the beast in its cage and then finding the perfect balance between your inner chi and just the right amount of intake so that you won't puke.
It's not easy, my friends! It took years of trashy college parties and trial and error to get it down to a science. Just remember: If you're not feeling anything and your intake keeps going up, either start chugging, or drain that beer down the sink and go hang out with the Church boys at the diet soda club!
Somehow, I lost control of that six years ago.
If you want to pick THAT type out of a crowd, just look for the festering scabs on their elbows.
Downing my Colt 45 forty. It's time to get my day started!
The only diet soda I will be drinking will be filled with Kentucky bourbon and sorrow.