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A woman gets on a bus with her baby.
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  • 4

    The bus driver says: 'Ugh, that's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!' The woman walks to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: 'The driver just insulted me!' The man says: 'You go up there and tell him off. Go on, I'll hold your monkey for you.'

    It's great when you enjoy things.


  • 1

    A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "what the quickest way to get to Chicago?"
    The Bartender says, "Are you walking or driving?"
    The guy says, "I'm driving."
    The Bartender says, "That's the quickest way."

    It's great when you enjoy things.


  • 1

    Did you hear about the cannibal who came home late for dinner?

    His wife gave him the cold shoulder.

    It's great when you enjoy things.


  • Swimuminati
    0

    the first one actually made me laugh out loud

    go on...

    am I smilin enough? am I smilin too much? am I tucked in and buckled, do my tits touch? hi, how are you, how high are you?
    less teeth and more tits its never enough. you'll never be good enough.


  • ShoeHands
    2

    Hey now.. I'm starting to think these stories aren't real at all!!


  • 3

    A husband and wife have four sons. The oldest three are tall with red hair and light skin while the youngest son is short with black hair and dark eyes.

    The father was on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said, "Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me: Is our youngest son my child?"

    The wife replied, "I swear on everything that's holy that he is your son."

    With that, the husband passed away. The wife muttered, "Thank God he didn't ask about the other three."

    It's great when you enjoy things.


  • Swimuminati
    1

    lol, what a sloot

    am I smilin enough? am I smilin too much? am I tucked in and buckled, do my tits touch? hi, how are you, how high are you?
    less teeth and more tits its never enough. you'll never be good enough.


  • 0

    A traveling salesman approached an old farmhouse and noticed the strange behavior of the couple inside. The woman was running the lawn mower over the carpet and the man had one hand dipped in a fish bowl and was playing with himself with the other. The salesman assumed they were crazy and moved on.

    After he'd finished his pitch at the next farmhouse, he mentioned what he'd just seen.

    ''Oh, those folks ain't crazy,'' the farmer said, ''They're both deaf mutes. She was telling him to mow the lawn, and he was telling her to go f**k herself because he was going fishing.''

    It's great when you enjoy things.


  • 0

    I don't know if you've ever been to Ireland. They are really the nicest people on the face of the earth. you walk into the pub in Ireland -- you have five best friends immediately. I walk into the bar, the first guy I see goes, 'Tell me something.' I'm like, 'Alright.' He goes, 'If you woke up in the morning and there were grass stains on your knees and a condom hanging out of your butt, would you tell anyone?' I'm like, 'Nope. I don't think so. No.' He goes, 'Would you like to go camping with me, laddy?'

    It's great when you enjoy things.


  • 0

    A man working with an electric saw accidentally cuts off all of his fingers. At the emergency room, his doctor says, "Give me the fingers, and I'll see what I can do."

    The injured man replies, "But I don't have the fingers!"

    "Why didn't you bring them?" the doctor asks.

    The injured man responds, "Doc, I couldn't pick them up."

    It's great when you enjoy things.


  • IB
    0

    ...go on.

    whatevah..


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