4

Write an obituary for a user above you
561   27

  • SwimDandy Banned
    2

    Dont play nice. Go.

    Oops


  • SwimParagon
    0

    Eviiserge was suffocated to death by an uncharacteristically large swarm of fireflies in his own home at the age of 41.

    "I feel like I should be banning way more of you." -- SwimMod_Luuv


  • 0

    Perfectflowinghair died like she lived, stealing window air conditioners out of third story apartment windows.

    You called down the thunder. Well, now you've got it!


  • SwimDandy Banned
    0

    So i finally have a house....nice, nice.

    Oops


  • Swimuminati
    0

    was shot trying to enter the home of a youtube star he was stalking...

    dude I swear this time is different. I swear before god, buddah, my dead grandma, and asmb. i will never drink again.

    -Phillies 8/15/2016


  • Banned
    0

    Today EvilSergE, enthusiastic drinker, has passed on.......He lost his battle with cirrhosis.....He leaves behind a wife or shacked up girlfriend, maybe? A young bottle of rum and an old bottle of scotch. Services will be held never.

    You were banned. It fills you with determination


  • 0

    Mixboy lived a long and fulfilling life. All the way to the age of 34. Sadly he was found dead in a child's pool filled with non newtonian fluid.

    You called down the thunder. Well, now you've got it!


  • 0

    was shot trying to forcefully enter Rogue's liquor stash

    The Big T


  • Swimuminati
    0

    haha...I make it to 34, huh.....playing with house money at that point

    dude I swear this time is different. I swear before god, buddah, my dead grandma, and asmb. i will never drink again.

    -Phillies 8/15/2016


  • SwimElder
    0

    Cyberbully found dead in home by blunt force trauma to the head via a bottle of Jack. This all transpired after an incident on an internet forum. Funerary arrangements accommodate ASMB. Everyone welcome.

    "I'm moving and not moving at all. I'm like the moon underneath the waves that ever go on rolling and rocking."


  • SwimLegend
    2

    Here lies Phillies, he died as he lived, liquored and potted up, humping his pillow waifu.
    In lieu of flowers please send donations to the Your Waifu is Trash fund

    Oh bother...


  • Thunder Goddess
    3

    Under what have been considered suspicious circmstances, Phillies was found in his basement dwelling, allegedly choked with a large quantity of leeks. The coroner's report is still pending. Police are seeking an aqua-haired waifu in connection with this incident; police decline to specify whether she is a suspect, saying only that she is a person of interest.

    “None of us are saints.” – Albert Fish

    Happy Banned Books Week! Take a gay penguin to lunch today!


  • Banned
    0

    You were banned. It fills you with determination


  • SwimVIP
    0

    Sent to the bottom of the ocean while sleeping by his mistress's crazy boyfriend. RIP.

    And the Universe said, "Let there be Zeni's YouTube Channel". And so it was. And it was good.
    https://www.youtube.com/user/Zenigundam


  • Swimuminati
    0

    PerfectFlowingHair said:

    Eviiserge was suffocated to death by an uncharacteristically large swarm of fireflies in his own home at the age of 41.

    They would never!!!!

    am I smilin enough? am I smilin too much? am I tucked in and buckled, do my tits touch? hi, how are you, how high are you?
    less teeth and more tits its never enough. you'll never be good enough.


  • SwimPunk Banned
    0

    firefly died when trampled by black women on their way to the latest shipment of discount apple bottoms


  • Swimuminati
    5

    Fuggs, age 50, died this week in a tragic bondage gone wrong incident. The suspect in question, known only as military hottie, claims he reacted out of instinct when she did not heed his safe word. No one is surprised.

    She is survived by her mother and daughter. Also, not surprised. Services will not be held. There will be a small memorial on the website known as the [asmb] hosted by the last remaining member, zenigundam.

    am I smilin enough? am I smilin too much? am I tucked in and buckled, do my tits touch? hi, how are you, how high are you?
    less teeth and more tits its never enough. you'll never be good enough.


  • SwimVIP
    1

    Firefly, 42, mauled by the Canadian gray wolf she tried to pet at the zoo believing she could tame his vicious nature. RIP. Free candy at the wake, so please come.

    And the Universe said, "Let there be Zeni's YouTube Channel". And so it was. And it was good.
    https://www.youtube.com/user/Zenigundam


  • Swimuminati
    0

    Yes! Totally acceptable cause of death and not unlikely.

    am I smilin enough? am I smilin too much? am I tucked in and buckled, do my tits touch? hi, how are you, how high are you?
    less teeth and more tits its never enough. you'll never be good enough.


  • Banned
    0

    Firefly24, aged 13, has tragically died eating an imaginary cake.

    She will be deeply missed by her pet cat, Turtle.

    POOP


  • 0

    Fierydoom

    Yes, we his grave has wifi. You're welcome.


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