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I dunno what I really want right now....
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  • Banned
    0

    Being kicked out of my house earlier this week and having to strike a retarded deal to come back has made me extremely nervous and an emotional wreck even more than I felt before.

    I know I should not be longing to be with someone like that would fix my feelings. But I feel I sure could use it.

    I'm such a broken person at this point.


  • Toonami
    0

    hugs you


  • Banned
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    I'm not gonna post anymore personal stuff or um downer posts anymore. I apologize to everyone.


  • Banned
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    I'm gonna have to make an early appointment with my psychiatrist. I just need a lobotomy or something so I can stop feeling things and being a f**k p***y about everything.


  • 0

    SandStoneReborn said:

    I know I should not be longing to be with someone like that would fix my feelings. But I feel I sure could use it.

    You probably don't want to hear this but you sound too vulnerable to expose yourself to something like that right now.

    "What do you mean lower myself? That's the only thing I've ever been. Just a simple human that couldn't save a little girl" -Edward Elric


  • Toonami
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    SandStoneReborn said:

    I'm gonna have to make an early appointment with my psychiatrist. I just need a lobotomy or something so I can stop feeling things and being a f**k p***y about everything.

    making an appointment would be best, I want you to feel better bud, and I'm not good enough with words 'n stuff to cheer you up myself:(


  • Banned
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    scope85 said:

    SandStoneReborn said:

    I know I should not be longing to be with someone like that would fix my feelings. But I feel I sure could use it.

    You probably don't want to hear this but you sound too vulnerable to expose yourself to something like that right now.

    Yep and I know that logically, I am probably going to get taken advantage of or something. I just want to not feel alone and empty anymore. I just like want to f**king die every time I start thinking about this, and it is happening so frequently lately.


  • Banned
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    What happened to me? I used to be so happy and energetic. I was so smart and outgoing, and now just nothing. I'm like a f**king hollow shell.


  • SwimComrad
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    I embraced not knowing what I want

    now I'm probably going to end up a cenobite like in Hellraiser though

    alt text


  • 1

    There's no quick fix for feeling alone and empty that doesn't carry the possibility of you feeling more alone and empty than you do right now.

    "What do you mean lower myself? That's the only thing I've ever been. Just a simple human that couldn't save a little girl" -Edward Elric


  • Banned
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    It's my fault anyways, this is just my punishment for f**king things up so bad.


  • SwimComrad
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    SandStoneReborn said:

    It's my fault anyways, this is just my punishment for f**king things up so bad.

    don't say that

    alt text


  • 0

    That self deprecating line of thought becomes a vicious cycle.
    Somehow you have to either find a way to forgive yourself or externalize blame.....it's our society.....it's the NHK

    alt text

    "What do you mean lower myself? That's the only thing I've ever been. Just a simple human that couldn't save a little girl" -Edward Elric


  • Banned
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    Why not? I have just let this happen man, I did nothing to take care of myself and just let people control my life. And I stayed where I was not happy and not really wanted because it was just safe.


  • Banned
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    I'm just trying not to cut myself before my sleeping meds kick in at this point. I feel ashamed to be even wanting to do that again.


  • SwimComrad
    1

    never too late

    I should have been dead by now, but I'm not
    since I predicted I was going to die like 6 years ago (and hoped so, but some dickbag in the great beyond or something told me no) I didn't do enough to prepare for a future, so I was in a shit position for awhile, but it wasn't too late to start pulling myself out of it

    alt text


  • Toonami
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    SandStoneReborn said:

    I'm just trying not to cut myself before my sleeping meds kick in at this point. I feel ashamed to be even wanting to do that again.

    don't.....just go to sleep and call your shrink in the morning


  • Banned
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    Ok, I'll try


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